I've never been a particularly well person. My family affectionately joke that my first word must have been "ow" and honestly, I wouldn't be surprised.
At age 3, I broke my right arm. However, we didn't find this out until I was 8 and the healed fracture showed up on an x-ray. The doctor asked my mom how they hadn't noticed I had broken my arm and she replied "because she says ow more often than her own name".
At age 5, I had my hands slammed in a door so hard that my middle fingers never recovered and they're both wonky.
At age 6, I ran face first into a large metal pole that stood in my infant school playground. I gave myself a gnarly black eye and knocked out one of my front teeth. It was two days before photo day and, unsurprisingly, my parents do not have a copy of that photograph. It was at this point I had to give in to my mom's assertions that I needed glasses.
At age 8, I dislocated my shoulder for the first time. I thought it was hilarious but in hindsight, I think I had been given some very strong painkillers.
At age 9, I was diagnosed with suffering from migraines. This came about because I stood up in class, dizzy and with the worst headache I had ever experienced, told my teacher I felt poorly and promptly threw up all over two of my classmates. They never stood close to me again after that.
At age 11, I dislocated my right wrist just in time for my SATs. I did them with my left hand and still did best in my class, which my dad considers one of my crowning achievements. I reckon they just felt sorry for me.
At age 13, I was diagnosed with hypermobility and early signs of arthritis in my left knee. I was thrilled as this gave me a pass to be excused from PE for the rest of secondary school.
At age 15, I started getting headaches so bad that I would pass out. I was given stronger migraine medication but it didn't help. My mental health started to decline.
At ages 18 and 19, my mental health was in a very, very bad place. I did things that I regret.
At age 20, I was diagnosed with my brain tumour.
At age 21, I had an ovarian cyst that ruptured and caused me to haemorrhage. I lost just over two litres of blood and (very briefly) flat lined on the operating table. I also had my best friend and boyfriend bring me a Nandos during my stay and left after two days because I was very bored (I don't recommend this behaviour, do what your doctors tell you to do)
At age 23, I was told that I have endometriosis and that it was attaching my ovary to my bowel.
As you can see, I've not had the easiest ride with my health over the years. Sometimes it bothers me, other times I think about how easy it is for me to decline invitations to stuff I don't want to go to.
Every cloud has a silver lining.
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